thewayideux

I'm not really sure how to write in here anymore. I just looked at some of the entries and realized that I just look like a huge jackass. I dont know how to express whats in me anymore.

I dont think I am going to be keeping up with this much. I need to do some real writing again.

I think I will do a video blog from my world travels however and will post the link once I get it going.

I need to know something that there is to know and I know that I cant find it here, not here in Baltimore, not here in Maryland and not here in this country. I feel so closed minded; thinking I know things when I really know nothing. I feel like such an asshole. My whole concept of the world is based on little travel and cold and distant text books, movies, tv shows, and people like teachers, parents and friends and yet all of those things are only trying to get me to believe what the their conception of the world is, not what it really is and I just need to know. That is all.

I put up such in a fight in all of my different schooling, not because I dont like to learn or because I am lazy or dont like to study but because I just cant get over that it is only what they want me to think, I am and you are products of our enviornments whether we want to admit it or not. I need to free myself from this place and this mind. I need to take this vessel that is my body and let my eyes see for the first time and expand my consciousness.

I have less than a month left in here in the states and am alarmed at my lack of emotion toward leaving this place and these people and this life that I thought I needed for so long. I have only been vaguely emotional really about leaving my work, which is something to me that is strange in itself. This has only helped me realize though to the extent of which I need to go. And I wish I could it explain to my friends, to my boss, to my grandfather, to you and sometimes to myself. All I can say is there is the pit that has been growing inside me, this inexcapable feeling to closterphopia even of closed mindedness of lack of understanding and of dependence (among many other things) that I must break free from. I just need to know what else there is. This can't be it, and if it is it than I will have to think of some other way to satisfy this need to know and understand and if I cant then there is just no point of living really.


I'm not proof reading this so sorry for mistakes or this not making sense.

See you in Athens.
-Simone

Its official.


goodbye america.

Im not even really sure what exactly I've done thats worth writing about in this since the last time I updated, but I will tell you during the time my life has changed in subtle ways and not so subtle ways and it will never go back to the way it was before. One night of a complete melt down on two hits of lsd and a quarter of mushrooms that did it. But I needed these changes and I needed that experience so badly that now looking back life seemed more incomplete before in the sense that I knew so much less. I just want to know, and I know the answers are somewhere inside myself, I just need to unlock them.

Been watching a lot of Jodorowski movies lately which is also having an interesting effect on my ways of thinking, especially about film. No movies I even watch again will ever fully satisfy me the way his movies do.

But otherwise the normal things, work and partying I guess. We got out tickets for Maine and our buying our tickets for Greece. I'll be leaving in March. I'll be living and working there until June when I will be joined by a dear comrade of mine for a year of travel. We may never come back, or a least not to live, or at least not for a really long time. We're going to do a video travel blog and then the people at the travel channel are going to see it and be like "two cute hip kids travelling, damn, here have a show". So you should look forward to that too.





I thought I would throw this one on here just for kicks



laters
simone

Baltimore living is fine. Nothing but movies from Video Americain (a block up and over), creating fine vegan (and other wise) foods, listening to music on the best shag rug, making plans, candles, cough drops and well love. There has also been a bit of catching up with old friends and meeting new ones.

New York for new years was excellent. I hope you all had a great time on New Years and that 2008 has been treating you well. And I would definately say overall it has been a good start to a year for me.








It snowed here today. It's my first snow in Baltimore in the longest time and it was really lovely. Well the part when laying in bed with snow falling, making the very delicate yet noticable snow-falling-noise and the room is really light even though the sky is completely gray with no sign of the sun in sight, and there is this really great tree outside of the window with little sphere shaped things hanging off of it like ornaments collecting snow, yes that was the lovely part. The part that wasnt quite as appealing about the snow today was walking in the slush aftermath with improper footwear. It wasnt that bad though because I just hung my socks on the window sill by the heater and not only did the dry right up but they heated up and felt so great when I put them back on.

Lets all go dancing tomorrow night.

Sincerely,

Look all I have to really say is, is that talk is cheap.